It was the worst of times.
I went out today because I've grown large and I thought a little paddle might help. I raced J-Deluxe out to the buoy. He won. Bastard. But he showed me how to make my knee-paddle more efficient.
Before the swarms of people showed up to (not) get (craptacular) waves, I had a surprisingly nice left -- the only wave with any kind of shoulder. I steered the borrowed boat of a board pretty well and was able to do a top-turn. As the wave closed, I did my patented stall and fall onto the leashless board (since I can't kick-out). Unfortunately, the water angled the board a little and hit me right in the breast. That's gonna leave a mark.
Everybody else is amped up because of this supposed swell coming in. I know better. I'm not a true surfer because I'm not that optimistic. I think those islands are in the way. I think we'll have more surf than we've had in the last two weeks, but I don't think it's going to be anywhere near chest-high. And we're talkin' about MY chest, the bruised one. As a short dumpy Asian chick, chest-high is about three feet off the ground.