I had this impression that plain oatmeal tastes like ass with a hint of cardboard. I don't know where I got this impression. I don't actually remember ever eating oatmeal, but maybe I was just suppressing a memory which lingers as just an impression.
So, being an adventurous sort of foodie, I decided to try oatmeal this morning. I am happy to report that I was wrong, it actually tastes more like cardboard with a hint of ass. I decided it would help to dress it up... salt (lots of it), butter, and a fried egg on top. I broke the yolk with my spoon and had myself some egg-flavored oatmeal. No cardboard or ass.
Now I feel healthy because I ate oatmeal.