Engagement Ring: Update

I'm on the Customer Page!

Step Aerobics

In my quest to lose 30 pounds in a month (I'm kidding), I went to a step aerobics class this weekend instead of subjecting myself to urban runoff. I was cocky at the beginning because I instantly remembered how to do a grapevine. It was somewhere during the "revolving door straddle turn diagonal kick combo" that I decided just to hop up and down in a sort of frenetic jitterbug.

The Leash is Cursed

Saturday morning didn't appeal as I looked out at Home Break. I heard someone say the Porto jetty was overhead, so I decided to wander out there. Not to surf! Just to watch!

As I pulled up in the parking lot, I saw a lot of rolling water with set waves walling up. With no one on them, the waves looked deceptively makeable and small until a particularly big wave would roll through and erase any doubt that this was THE OCEAN.

A couple of guys were gabbing behind me in the parking lot. As I was lacing up my running shoes, one of them kept talking about how he'd go out if he had a leash and "I'm going to go home and get a leash."

I turned to him and asked him what length. 8-foot, 9? "Here, take mine." The back of my car seems to have collected a couple of neatly coiled longboard leashes because I dislike using them so much. "I'm pretty sure this is the 9-foot one."

"No, I can't take your leash."

I shrugged, thrust the thing at him. "No worries."

He thanked me as I jogged off toward the jetty. (The jetty was a great show, by the way. Better shape there, but a harrowing drop that closed out quickly if you weren't in the right spot. A few spongers in the mix just screeeeeeming along the face with amazing speed. But that's not the point of this story.)

I jogged back and marveled at the handful of people who were scattered out at different "peaks." I couldn't imagine what they were thinking. If I were out there... I wouldn't be out there.

From my vantage point on the bike path, I could see a big set on the horizon. Paddle!!! The shortboarder who had been flirting with the line made it. Then I saw a longboarder further down the shore paddling hard to get outside this thing. Uh-oh. This was an eerily familiar sight.

He was not in a good spot. Big wave, lots of water, and he's not going to make it over. So he turtled at the only moment you could in this situation. I couldn't see him, but I knew what was happening because it happened to me. Turtling, he was getting sucked up and over. That board was broken. As sure as I knew mine was snapped when I was underwater, I was equally sure his gone. I looked for him in the whitewater after the wave broke and started to get a little panicky because he wasn't showing up. Finally, I saw his black outline amid all the white. And then I saw something skittering toward shore. Half a board.

So I continued walking back to the parking lot. (I supposed I had stopped because those waves had stopped time.) As I got closer, I saw the surfer with the broken board walking with his friend. The surfer was the guy to whom I gave my leash!

I felt awful. Sorta. He might not have gone in if I hadn't given him my leash right there. He might have gone home for his leash and realized that going out in that water was not rational. Then again, he might have gone home for his leash and gone out anyway. He was making quite a lot of talk with his friend about doing so.

One thing I am certain of, the leash is cursed.

The Wedding Project

Grace and/or Gulam

Awesome!

I have been watching the Rotten Tomatoes for our film and for Fool's Gold and seeing that, in quantifying something unquantifiable, Rolling Stone had it right:

"That generous half star rating I tacked onto to this comedy abomination is all for Paris Hilton. [...] You've been warned. But it's still better than Fool's Gold."

Our film is just as bad or maybe even slightly BETTER than Fool's Gold which was made for 10 times as much money.

Just looking on the bright side!

Demon Dog

The boy has the loudest quiet dog in the world. In preparation of our married life, we've started divvying up the household chores and walking Demon Dog in the morning hours comes under my purview because, theoretically, I have long shed my natural bitter morning 'tude for the joys of surfing.

However, I have not surfed before work on a weekday for a very VERY long time - ever since the movie filmed last year. Sorry for the plug:



Anyway, this morning, I did not want to leave the warm bed. Otis The Dog is not a dog who whines nor does he make much vocal noise at all. Instead, the bubbah shakes his head, thwapping his ears so it sounds like a tiny helicopter stalling out over and over again. He also stretches. This in and of itself is fine, but when combined with claws grasping into carpet for leverage for his downward-facing-dog position, I find the prolonged stretch to be as annoying as fingernails on a chalkboard. He does not whine or growl or bark but sheee-it... passive-aggressive much?

The worst thing about morning duty, really, is knowing there was a time I would have willingly hopped out of bed to get dunked in freezing ocean water. Shivering bleary-eyed under blue skies this morning and waiting for the bubbah to take a dump, I started thinking about surfing for some reason and I missed it.


Demon Dog and Puppet: "we are going outside now... we are going outside now... we are going outside now..."

Thruster

It's been a long time since I've been on anything other than a single fin or a 2+1 set-up. This old 8'0" I'm currently riding has a glassed-on thruster set-up and I admit I'm really enjoying the drive.

No pork and alcohol

So, I really need to surf this weekend and I'm kind of hoping that it's going to be big because I have a dinged and buckled ugly 8'0" with which to play Bumper Boards.

Last weekend I met the future mother-in-law for the first time and I'm pretty sure it went well. I think. I guess. I don't know. The boy tells me it did, but I didn't really get to know her. She's an immigrant Indian Muslim widow living in small-town Pennsylvania. I'm marrying her atheist son, but I'm doing a Muslim Nikah ceremony for the sake of familial harmony.

My parents, immigrant Chinese Buddhists who lived in small-town Illinois for 25 years seem to be the more liberal party in this matrimonial negotiation. And let me tell you, it absolutely blows my mind to be using the word "liberal" to describe my father! I NEVER thought as I was growing up that he'd end up to be the "cool" one.
My sweet and accommodating mother just wants me to be happy and will do anything asked of her, but that only causes me to get defensive in these matrimonial negotiations because I want to protect her from discomfort and awkwardness as much as I can. I am just frustrated whenever I think that the more liberal party has to bend to the more conservative one.

So, I'm going to try to stay away from crowds this weekend if it's big because I have this feeling I'm going to be doing some really stupid stuff in the water.

RIP Doc 3

Actually, I had a feeling it was going to happen when I suited up. Chilly in the parking lot with Sis and CYT.

Big wave, I was too far inside. Turtled and had a moment when I considered holding onto the board and cartwheeling with it, which I've done before, but never on SUCH a big wave. So I let it go. I was jerked back and dragged under water with a lot of force by my leash. While I was cursing the leash, all of a sudden, I wasn't being tugged quite so hard and I knew. It wasn't a surprise when I surfaced to find myself attached to half a board.

What I don't get is that obviously my board was in one piece as I was being dragged. Not quite sure what happened to snap it in two while I was still under water.

Oh, well. I have to stop abusing my sanded glass boards. I love them because they're light, but I'm starting to think I should go epoxy at this rate.

So, it's a beater board winter for me! If you see a short round Asian girl frowning at a Raw 8'0" she inherited, that's me. I really dislike those Raw boards. No reason, really. I just find them incredibly plain and ugly. They look... functional.

I had promised my friend that I would fix the dinged up nose and the shattered tail and sell the board for him, but I never got around to it. Instead, I'm going to give him some cash and thrash the hell out of it on some winter waves. Should be fun.

Engagement Ring: His

We are talking to someone about my engagement ring. A hint.

So, I wasn't crazy after all.

Forgoing the zoo of Big Wednesday, I was looking for something like a Mellow 6-Foot Thursday this morning. I got up when the dog alarm went off at 5am. Usually, Otis will go back to sleep for an hour and a half when you give him a sharp command, but today, I decided not to snooze the dog alarm and took him for a quick walk in the dark and off I was to see what the popular point was looking like. Mushy on the high tide and not that appealing.

So I headed back down to home break and thought I was going crazy because I SWORE I saw corners. But maybe my brain wasn't working, maybe there was not enough light for my feeble eyes, maybe it was a trick. No, there it was again. A corner.

And a curtain of water fell in the following set wave. But it wasn't really a CRASHING, HOLLOW sound. It was a high tide sound: a loud, but mushy sound, like a sumo wrestler stepped off the side of a pool and fell into jello.

Still, though, I thought I was crazy. It wasn't until Mr. Love came around with his enthusiasm that I decided standing around getting cold was ridiculous when I could be paddling in and seeing for myself.

That first paddle-out wasn't too bad. I waited for the lull and was able to scratch over the rolling waves.

But then I got frustrated. I sat and waited and paddled for rollers that wouldn't break. I pulled off of things that looked like close-outs. I was starting to think I'd have to take one of those if I wanted anything. Finally, Sensei J told me that there was shape. "Even the ones that look like close-outs, there's shape, just get on it and you can go down the face!"

Okaaaaay.

So a perfect example popped up. It had just enough shape as it approached to make me turn around to paddle into position. As it got closer, it loomed over like it was going to close, but I took the advice and just went. Speed speed speed and I was turning into the bottom turn going frontside when I realized that I could look up at the wave. And I could see that I wasn't fast enough or in trim enough to make the shoulder.

But it was good enough.

I got caught inside in a hole on a set, so I gave up trying to paddle in at that spot and walked out and back up the beach to a spot with easier entry.

The next right was much better. I actually had some shoulder time.

Started paddling back out when I saw a rogue wave rising out of the water. The giant curtain of water started to come down and I was in exactly the WRONG SPOT. There was no way to duck or turtle, so I ditched my board and dove through the wave. (When was the last time I ditched my board?!) The wave pushed me down and took the board, so I was being dragged underwater by my leash. (When's the last time I wore a leash?!)

No fun! (But in a way, it IS fun!) Woo!

I may not understand the need for speed on two wheels, but I totally get the thrill from dropping down a nice-sized face of water.

Two-wheelin' it

The timing could not have been better. After a first big wash of rain on Friday, I was not about to get into the ocean until the prescribed 72-hours was done. Luckily, my fiance (yes, that's right, we're engaged) had signed us up for a motorcycle riding class for the weekend.

I've always wanted to learn and he got revved up by some riding co-workers when he expressed interest.

The class we took was really great. Highly recommended if you're just thinking about riding for recreation because it scares the bejeezus out of you. Basically, we learned how every element out there on the road is out to get you. After the classroom, you get about 10 hours on the bike over two days. The first day it was thrilling. I found out that I am good at going fast around corners, but I suck at the slow, tight figure-eights. My wrists and forearm muscles started getting stressed because the clutch and brake levers were too wide for my tiny hands.

By the second day, I think the novelty wore off. I was really good at finding neutral whenever we were idling because my left hand started having spasms from gripping the clutch. And, by the end of the day, even though I finally started getting the hang of slow, tight figure-eights and got to blast through off-set weaves, I couldn't help but see riding as a really expensive hobby.

I'd love to hear from Whiff or Sis's husband or any other riders. I'm sure I'm missing something about motorcycles. I had fun and am glad I learned the basics, but I didn't get the bug, that's for sure.

On the other hand, I had the bug for surfing even before I caught a legit wave.

Bound by the Leash

Miss Sis's post got me to thinking more about what I'd already been thinking. Going leashless improved my surfing exponentially. I've learned how to control my board and kick-out and I have a greater comfort in crowds because going leashless has made me more confident in my abilities.

I have another girlfriend who went leashless this year and you can see the difference in how she relates to the wave -- she looks comfortable and in trim. She's finishing her waves instead of hopping off the board. She is leaps and bounds better than some of the other people who have been surfing alongside her for the same amount of time.

As for me, it doesn't even occur to me to put on a leash if it's waist-high (chest-high if there is shape). It's a little weird when surf buddies greet me on the way down to the water with, "No leash?" I take a look at the easy waves and wonder if they even see the same thing I do.

Put me firmly in the "leashes suck" camp. I mean, how could I even consider doing a coffin-reverse coffin if I was tied down with a leash?

I like surfing

Go figure.

Small waves, big board, some shape. Home break this weekend. Kinda stupid fun. Evidenced by my coffin-reverse coffin move on one knee-boarded wave.

I knee-boarded because the wave was too small for me to get into otherwise. I ended up kneeling too far up on the board, and being leashless, I will hold onto the board with anything, even my ass. I somehow found myself lying ass-down on the board with my head at the tail. Through the white-water, I saw Bart laughing at me so I waved. Somehow, as the white-water got more turbulent the closer to shore I got, and I found myself having done a full 180 turn, still ass-down, with my head at the nose of the board. I was in hysterics all the way back into the line-up.

That was the stupid fun. The serious fun was cross-stepping to the nose, carving on some shoulder, kicking-out, and calling a dude off a wave. That last one is important to me. Being mellow and non-confrontational about people taking off in front of me, I'm starting to take heed of the regular guys who want us girls who can surf to take on some of the burden and to start calling out the newbies and kooks when they breach etiquette.

I was up and setting up for a nice backside topturn when I saw a guy on a little fishy windmilling his arms for the shoulder in front of me. His chin was touching the board and he was looking straight down the stringer, so I called out, "Hey! I'm up!" He backed off and I was able to turn and carve to the end of the wave. And, yeah, my ego threw in some extra style as I rode past just to let him know that I surfed WAY better than he did. :)

What to do in Kauai when it's flat

In no particular order:

• Kayak any of the rivers
  
• Drive/hike Waimea canyon
  
• Eat poi
  
• Drink beer while listening to the 20 mph trade winds whistle through your bottle
  
• Have sex
  
• Watch local team news coverage about the SuperFerry
  
• Attend a cheesy luau for the first time (and never have to do that again)
  
• Boat ride up the Na Pali Coast
  
• Look at all the beautiful breaks that aren't breaking
  
• Snorkel
  
• Tube through abandoned irrigation shafts
  
• Chase a chicken
  
• Chase a rooster
  
• Contemplate over a mai tai what came first, the chicken or the egg?
  
• Wonder why mai tais are so popular
  
• Drink more beer
  
• Go to bed at 9pm since all the restaurants have closed
  
• Buy a ukelele
  

It was a week in flat paradise. I had reserved a surf lesson for my boyfriend in Hanalei, but we got there early and I made the unfortunate decision to check out the break first. Flat. There were about eight students and teachers on the ten yard swatch of bay that was breaking. It was as if you took ten yards of my home break on a weekend day in summer and plopped it in the middle of a lake and put an invisible forcefield around it. We cancelled the lesson.

The trade winds are amazing, though. It created some spectacular windswell on the East side, but if I wanted to surf sloppy, victory-at-sea conditions, I would have stayed home. But I loved how those tradewinds felt. I wanted to breathe in as much of it as I could.

On one of our trips on the two-lane highway to Waimea Canyon on the south side of the island, I saw silver-haired surfers with giant boards parked along the railing and disappearing into the trees. I made my boyfriend park the car and we followed the red dirt trail through the brush and was greeted with an empty beach as far as the eye could see to the right. To the left was a rock jetty and beyond that were about five stand-up paddlers catching long ankle-high lefts off a reef further off.

Welcome to Infinities. It might have just been the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. What would have been more beautiful would be if there were some size and right-hand waves.

The south swell began to roll in a day before my departure. In anticipation, the night before, I'd rented a beat-up epoxy 9'0" 2+1 longboard which was badly weighted forward (maybe from all the repaired dings). My long-suffering boyfriend and I drove straight to Infinities on Tuesday morning. He sat on the beach while I made the long paddle-out to the reef where I was the only chick in a tanned group of 7 or 8 guys which included one stand-up paddler. The waves were waist-high when they came in. Long lulls. But I smiled at everybody and whooped the best waves and made some friends so the vibe was pleasant and, hey, I wasn't in a wetsuit!

I didn't get the best waves of the day, but it was good enough. Long feathering lefts held up by the tradewinds coming off- and side-shore. Easy vacation waves.

I hate surf shops

I tried putting on Yakima hard racks yesterday, anticipating a trip north this weekend with plenty of time to surf before going to a wedding.

In the boxes (and the running score):
- four Q-towers (+-0)
- five base pads, one is attached to a tower (+1)
- four stickers, two are already stuck to two towers (+1)
- three end caps, I guess I don't really need all of them (+-0)
- four clips (+-0)
- zero allen wrench, but I scavenged one that kinda fit (-1)
- zero locking houses (-5)

Obviously someone had bought this package, opened it, thought it was too hard to put together, and sent it back to Val Surf who re-sold it without checking the contents.

Feh.

I could also complain that my boyfriend didn't demand that the sales person check the contents, but he also bought it for me as a birthday present months ago, so I can't complain too much there.

Boogie, Bob, and Weave

Boogie board - sheeee-it am I sore today. Paddled out into the line-up and breathed heavily while Surf Sister and Riab laughed and laughed and laughed. Thanks for your support, girls.

Cooperfish. Okay. I didn't need it, but I couldn't resist. I bought Sensei J's V-bottom board this weekend. After catching close-out after close-out on the boogie board, I didn't have the energy to paddle out AGAIN, so I traded the sponge for something easier... a surfboard.

Of course, paddling and taking off are fine on the V-bottom. Turning is a different story. On not so shapely waves, making a balanced turn on that board is more than challenging, it's downright comical. I saw D laughing at me as I paddled back out into the line-up and he said all he saw was my head bobbing and weaving uncontrollably. Thanks for your support, guy.

I see there's some kind of energy in the water. I'm taking my bobbing and weaving new board to somewhere with fewer close-outs tomorrow.

Kick-out!

Needing to surf, no matter how unappealing the waves were, I trundled out with Doc III. The waves were better than they looked.

Short rides with a bottom, a top turn, and then a good launch off the bottom again to KICK OUT. (Frontside, of course.) It was all about the kick-out today.

My last wave had me a little befuddled. Frontside turn and I found wave that was going to jack up and pitch. I ended up high on the wave caught between thinking I should kick-out and thinking I could actually make a top turn and see where the wave went.

In the end, I did neither and chickened out of what probably would have been a cover-up. Instead, the wave took the board on a heavy rotation and I leaned back deciding I'd rather swim than get clobbered by the rail of the board. Curious. I actually realized that if I'd had more courage and derring-do, I'd have stepped forward and leaned into the rail that was wave-side so my board might not start pitching, and I might actually have gotten barreled. I wouldn't have made it out and I probably would have gotten a black eye, but I might actually have gotten barreled if I had just known what to do.

It's one of those a-ha! moments I treasure about surfing even if I sucked and didn't go with the epiphany.

Surfing, waiting

Last weekend was super fun. No more to report than that.

This weekend I was landlocked in my Illinois hometown for a wedding. I grew up with cornfields in my backyard which eventually got turned into a Wal-Mart when I was in high school. I drove by and found the Wal-Mart had closed, but only because there's a bigger swankier location just off the highway.

Right now I'm waiting for my poker-playing surgeon of a brother to get here so we can go to the beach. I'm not sure what to bring for him because the beach break might be closed out. Should I put him on Cooperfish to catch the whitewater because at least it's stable? Should I put him on Doc III because at least it's only 9'0" and less mass for a newbie to negotiate? Should I just screw it and toss him my boogie board?

Yes, I bought a boogie board and fins a couple of weeks ago. I've only been out on it once, but geez is it harder than it looks! What was an easy paddle-out on a longboard becomes a session of getting tossed around in the impact zone. I felt like such a kook. And then catching a wave was an exercise in sheer panic-denial. I looked down the line as this thing was jacking up, my longboarding self wondered who in their right minds takes off on this?!

Still, it was fun... and much easier to carry out to the beach.

Poker-playing Dr. Brother just called and bailed. He ground out $6 in winnings and got home at 5am.

What happens in the Water

After a frustrating Friday at work and a Saturday of old familial rhythms you thought you grew out of, on Sunday you send everybody off bon-voyage-"here's your hat, what's your hurry"-style and make a break for the beach later than you normally would. At mid-morning, the hourly parking lot is already filled and, instead of circling around and around, you pony up the day-long fee because you're about ready to jump out of your skin. You flip off your early morning buddies who are out of the water but who are heading back to the sand to loiter under the sun.

The black pavement of the parking lot is hot. The sand is hot. Your collar is hot and you speak too loudly to your buddies loitering at the water's edge. Who cares about the surf report? It's small and crowded, and just because of everything racing around your head, the water looks better than it ever did.

You can't get in fast enough.

You can't get a wave either. The brain isn't working as fast as the body and the body just reacts to the freedom of the water. All the pent-up energy pours out in a flailing of limbs. By the time the body tires out, the brain takes over and feels the water and sees the waves and helps you identify the catchable waves.

And there are a few waves under your feet. They center you in the moment. A drop-knee turn calms your jerky movements. You suddenly don't feel like you need to paddle full-speed to the buoy.

And you try to comprehend what just happened. Why you're sitting there. Why you feel better. Why you felt so bad before. You sound out to a buddy floating in the water and he sounds back... a sounding board for insights found in the water. A split wave sends you twice as far from each other and you're alone with those pressing thoughts again.

A paddle-out to the buoy doesn't sound like a bad idea. But it's not frantic, it's steady. It's even. Alone and facing the horizon, you can't see the condos and apartments, the cars and parking lot, the beach chairs and boogie boards. Alone and facing the horizon, you can't hear the humanity behind you. When you're ready, you can paddle back.